funny used car ads
Budget “focused” mid-life crisis car.
This Focus ST offers a lot of the fun of owning an actual sports car without having to pay extra for things you don’t need, like nice paint, a V8 engine, or classic bodywork. The turbo 4-cylinder engine makes up for what it lacks in torque by building boost just off idle and creating a…
Read MoreEverything you typically expect from a cheap Nissan
Do you have an entitled new driver expecting a low-mileage late model vehicle as a first car? Your opportunity to teach them a lesson in disappointment has arrived. It’s only 10 years old and has logged just 134k on the odo; it will even start, run, and drive. But that’s where the good news stops…
Read MoreWho wants to play an nostalgic game of “Cops or Old People” 2010 Crown Vic Police Interceptor
Do you have what it takes to move from the back seat to the front? Are you ready to own the headlights that struck fear in the hearts of millennial drivers everywhere? This P71 does start run and move (selectively) but like every other piece of hot garbage @ Richmond Auto Exchange, it’s cheap for…
Read MoreDock this pirate ship at your favorite walmart
Sick of paying rent but want to avoid homelessness? Consider surfing local Walmart parking lots and cracker barrels in your own over-the-road pirate ship project motorhome. This Winnebago does start run and move but not reliably enough to appeal to suburban families or anyone who would not consider the chance of a ride behind a…
Read MoreRelive your childhood. Buy this car with styling inspired by the Little Tykes Cozy Coupe & Barney the Dinosaur.
When buying a car, Do you put ridiculous styling and a low price before all other considerations? With styling, performance, and ergonomics inspired by a child’s driveway toy, most folks would consider this thing a poor choice when it was new. Not you! Maybe you work from home and don’t have anywhere to go anyway.…
Read MoreIs your pull out game as weak as your impulse control? You need this big-ass van for all those kids.
Do you feel religiously exempt from birth control? Are you a homeschool family with 13 kids? Perhaps you collect baby mommas or daddies proportional to your body count? This van fits all of these situations and more. From your house to grandma’s house, to a game or the mall. Short of a school bus you…
Read MoreAre you good at fixing lawnmowers, like meeting cops and have a buddy with a tow truck?
You are gonna love this Integra. This thing checks off all the boxes for any serious Honda street racer. Faded spray paint job. Wing you big enough to create lift. Engine parts from other Hondas. eBay parts including a Wuhan war whistle. Giant inefficient front mount intercooler. Loudest available compressor bypass valve. Doesn’t run so…
Read MoreReady to challenge the Boss Karen in your neighborhood? You NEED this “antique” service van
Escalate the battle with your local HOA in a way only a junky old service van can. It’s under the 10k mark so in most localities it’s not considered a commercial vehicle, it’s an antique so a set of collector car tags will make it legal without an inspection, and best of all? This thing…
Read MoreIt’s tax time. Somebody’s baby momma is about to buy them this car.
Do you buy your baby daddy a car at tax time each year? Why spend your hard-earned tax return on another piece of crap car & a set of rims that are just gonna cart him between his momma’s house, his friend’s houses, and the job he doesn’t have when you could keep him at…
Read MoreAre you into burnouts, picking up dudes, and plowing thru crowds of spectators?
Boy, are we about to make your day. This mustang has it all. It’s a V6 with dual exhaust and a 5 Speed. Perfect for the “my V6 is as fast as your V8” crowd. It’s already wrecked so you won’t feel bad when you plow thru a pole in a parking lot and the…
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