Funny used car ads

If you cant laugh at ugly cars what can you laugh at? The dealership that launched ugly cars was, and still is known for selling vehicles with absolute honesty to a point of absurdity. Some of these delightfully offensive ads get listed here along with others that found their way to us via the internet.

white chevrolet spark with a cozy coupe and barney the dinosaur.

Relive your childhood. Buy this car with styling inspired by the Little Tykes Cozy Coupe & Barney the Dinosaur.

By Roscoe | March 19, 2024

When buying a car, Do you put ridiculous styling and a low price before all other considerations? With styling, performance, and ergonomics inspired by a child’s driveway toy, most folks would consider this thing a poor choice when it was new. Not you! Maybe you work from home and don’t have anywhere to go anyway.…

large white e350 extended church van

Is your pull out game as weak as your impulse control? You need this big-ass van for all those kids.

By uglycars | March 12, 2024

Do you feel religiously exempt from birth control? Are you a homeschool family with 13 kids? Perhaps you collect baby mommas or daddies proportional to your body count? This van fits all of these situations and more. From your house to grandma’s house, to a game or the mall. Short of a school bus you…

Are you good at fixing lawnmowers, like meeting cops and have a buddy with a tow truck?

By Roscoe | March 7, 2024

You are gonna love this Integra. This thing checks off all the boxes for any serious Honda street racer. Faded spray paint job. Wing you big enough to create lift. Engine parts from other Hondas. eBay parts including a Wuhan war whistle. Giant inefficient front mount intercooler. Loudest available compressor bypass valve. Doesn’t run so…

ugly rusty old cutaway box van work vehicle

Ready to challenge the Boss Karen in your neighborhood? You NEED this “antique” service van

By Roscoe | March 4, 2023

Escalate the battle with your local HOA in a way only a junky old service van can. It’s under the 10k mark so in most localities it’s not considered a commercial vehicle, it’s an antique so a set of collector car tags will make it legal without an inspection, and best of all? This thing…

greenish chrysler 300

It’s tax time. Somebody’s baby momma is about to buy them this car.

By Roscoe | March 1, 2023

Do you buy your baby daddy a car at tax time each year? Why spend your hard-earned tax return on another piece of crap car & a set of rims that are just gonna cart him between his momma’s house, his friend’s houses, and the job he doesn’t have when you could keep him at…

green mustang with dented fender

Are you into burnouts, picking up dudes, and plowing thru crowds of spectators?

By Roscoe | February 8, 2023

Boy, are we about to make your day. This mustang has it all. It’s a V6 with dual exhaust and a 5 Speed. Perfect for the “my V6 is as fast as your V8” crowd. It’s already wrecked so you won’t feel bad when you plow thru a pole in a parking lot and the…

More miles on it than your mom & can handle 15 dudes at once. 2009 Ford Passenger Van

By Roscoe | January 22, 2023

The front end is a little loose, the intake & rear both leak a little, and getting her started takes a special trick with the shifter. There is also a little surface corrosion underneath but we all know you like to live dangerously. She will start run and move but once you get her going…

Kill Cones and put trash cans into low orbit with this beast old truck.

By Roscoe | January 18, 2023

Have you ever dreamed of a cone-kill trashcan terminating porta-potty plowing escapade in an old truck? We have the truck you need right here. There are enough inspection-failing items to make this truck legitimately dangerous and the length of time it’s been since its last wash and now, completes the “look” to go with it.…

grey painted mg mgb

You are gonna die anyway, it may as well be fun.

By Roscoe | January 8, 2023

If you like to face life’s challenges by repeatedly cheating death I have the project car you have been looking for. 1977 MGB does start run and move but this thing has about the same number of safety features as your average golf cart. It also has about the same size engine leaving much of…

rootbeer color jaguar xj sedan vanden plas in great shape

Did you start the new year by getting drunk, wrecking your car, and catching a DUI? (again)

By Roscoe | January 1, 2023

I have the perfect car for you! Since you’re about to be hemmed up by court costs and the loss of your license, having a car that drives is not a priority but you still got to do what you can to maintain your swagger, on a budget. This Jaguar can help. This thing is…

cheap prois for sale as viewed from the front with blue paint

Look, a Prius for sale, cheap!

By Roscoe | March 25, 2022

But hold up, before you put your hair in a man bun and run to Starbucks on the way to our lot let me tell you a few things about this car you need to know. It’s actually not that good on gas unless you drive like the mailman, it’s got two motors but it’s…

white honda civic ek from the front

Any sentimental Honda fans out there need to get their bumblebee on?

By Roscoe | March 24, 2022

Any sentimental Honda fans out there need to get their bumblebee on? I got you, it comes complete with a “race” header and a fart can. Relive your glory days of exhaust tickets and losing races to V6 camaros. It even has mismatched wheels, mechanical issues, and an automatic transmission as an excuse for why…

Like Camping? Pay good money to live like the homeless.

By Roscoe | October 5, 2021

All the best memories… or the most horrific, it all depends on your perspective. This International metro camper conversion has it all. AC, sofa, kitchen sink, dinette even a bucket. Chances are the only thing that still works is that toilet bucket. We had it cranking over but it never started. Someone did hang new…

Affordable reliable cars not your thing? Check out my discounted Audi

By uglycars | February 2, 2020

Are you a VW Audi fanboy? Does your idea of a good time involve hanging out in the customer waiting area at the local VW Audi dealer dining on vending machine snacks and instant coffee? Do you put European style and branding before value and performance? we have the perfect car for you. This specific…

red iroc camaro with faded paint

Delightfully Trashy! – 1989 Chevrolet Camaro IROC 5.7

By Roscoe | June 18, 2019

Nothing says “hot rod” quite like a red Camaro with shining paint, a fancy interior, big back tires and rumbling powerful V8 under the hood. Unfortunately, this Camaro has none of those things. Instead, we can offer you a delicate balance of faded red paint, dents, ragged out interior, and an overheating engine. Picture yourself…

1970’s Style, unreliably packaged

By Roscoe | May 6, 2019

If you are like us you appreciate vehicles that exhibit a perfect balance of quality, performance, reliability, comfort, and style. Here at Roscoe’s, we don’t have that vehicle. What we do have is this Ford Pinto, and for $750 this shining example of why so much of the ’70s was just bad and needs to…

lifted square body suburban on boggers

Have more fun with this dumpy lifted half ton.

By Roscoe | April 11, 2019

1/2 Ton Lifted 4×4 Suburban (running project) $1,999 23234 Over the hill and thru the woods, right over top of someone’s house, this truck could probably go. Great for killing trash cans, traffic barrels, or the occasional port-o-potty. Whatever you decide to hit be ready to commit as you are going to have to finish…

gold mercedes

tow-cedes benz

By Roscoe | March 21, 2019

Do you often regret decisions you make as the result of putting form before function? We have the car for you. This shiny Mercedes on chrome wheels won’t disappoint. It’s got fancy leather seats, woodgrain on the dash and double pane glass in the windows to help distract you from the flat tires, list of…

blue ford pickup with reefer unit in bed

Reefer Truck!

By Roscoe | March 21, 2019

Reefer Truck! Sorry, not the fun kind. However, the back of this thing gets colder then your ex-wife making anything you put in the back last longer then it would in your trunk even on a sunny day. The insulated walls effectively keep cool temperatures and sound inside the box. Great for perishable items such…

large white dirty ugly old church van

BE LIKE MOSES! You need this BIG ole Church Van!

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Here is your chance to Be like Moses! Let this van help you lead your people thru challenges and judgement just like Moses did. Buying this van gives you an opportunity to test the faith of your passengers since It has faced the judgement of a state inspector and failed for numerous safety related items.…

blue 90's ford escort sedan

CELEBRATE MEDIOCRITY – Ford Escort Sedan (its a happy little car)

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Check out this simple four door escort. It starts it runs and it drives. There is absolutely nothing exciting about this car. This is exactly the sort of car you put your son in and know without a doubt hes not going to be bringing girls home in it for anything other then to do…

silver toyota prius

More mediocrity for sale, Reliably Packaged.

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

If life is too exciting for you I have the car you need. You cant do delightfully boring better than a Prius. It does many things but none of them that well. Its got both a gas engine and an electric motor but its still slow. Its good on gas but only in town. Its…

redneck ferrari (firebird) in red

REDNECK FERRARI. Enjoy donuts even without the snow.

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

If you want to be more like Garth Brooks and have friends in low places you need the right car to get you there. This 1995 Pontiac is not just a Firebird. It is a TRANS AM firebird! that means more donuts. more trips to walmart, even more mullet! Your sister is going to LOVE…

burgandy cadillac coupe that looks nice

Did you ring in the new year by getting drunk, wrecking your car and catching a DUI?

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

We have the perfect car for you! Since your about to be hemmed up by court costs and losing your license, having a car that drives is not a priority but you still got to do what you can to maintain your swagger, on a budget. This Cadillac can help. This thing is PRETTY, the…

ugly beat up chevy spark with unmatching bumper

Don’t try to resist this record-setting 2014 Chevrolet spark with only 24k on the odo!

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Perfect car for the person who wants to say their car is less than 5 years old but never actually needs to drive anywhere. Could also be used as a doorstop for a large door or gate. This vehicle represents only the finest things Chevrolet could manage to buy from South Korea. Fair shape inside,…

burgandy prius

Two mode Prius “hybrid” driveway art special

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Are you ready to look like you have a liberal arts degree but not have to break your parent’s bank account? I HAVE THE CAR FOR YOU. This vehicle delivers all the benefits of Prius ownership from looking cool in the driveway, making your neighbors think you are eco-conscious, even your friends will insist on…

old ugly black honda civic

DUMPY CIVIC Save gas (and money) while jumping puddles.

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

I could go ahead and list all the problems this car has right up front but all most people will read is HONDA, CIVIC and CHEAP then call with questions I already answered in the ad. Instead I will tell you about the potential fun you could have with this car. -Running over trash cans-Jumping…

silver pontiac vibe

Need an excuse for being mad? Buy this bad Vibe.

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Need an excuse for being mad? Buy this bad Vibe. It comes with every excuse needed to justify grumpiness. It’s hard to tell if it’s a small car, a station wagon or a midget minivan, that’s pretty frustrating. Its got lots of miles on it, and the engine is as dead as the Pontiac brand…

burgandy malibu maxx with no front bumper

CHEAP FOR A REASON! Honest Deals on AFFORDABLE wheels.

By Roscoe | March 13, 2019

Do you need more exercise? Chances are if you buy one of these vehicles I have affordably priced at $500 you will get many opportunities to walk to where you are going. No need to carve out time in your schedule, these vehicles will DECIDE FOR YOU when to walk to the store, to work,…

burgandy nissan quest in lot

Over the hill and thru the woods, all the way to grandmas house? This van, most likely can’t go.

By Roscoe | March 12, 2019

This Nissan may send you on a Quest to find another way to get where you are going but you can have a ton of fun and save bucks not getting there. With a 24 Valve DOHC V6 engine you can rest assured its got power in reserve since the failing trans can’t get much…

stick figure family on the back car window

More family fun when it barely runs! It’s time for an ODYSSEY.

By Roscoe | March 12, 2019

You know your family needs more then an adventure, they want an ODYSSEY! One that looks ok on the outside, heck is darn near perfect on the inside but under the hood is another story. Mechanical problems are where you can truly enter the unknown. Buy this mechanically impaired honda to take your family on…

ugly beat up hyundai car with tape holding the bumper and other parts on

EPIC puddle jumping TRASH CAN KILLER – Show up to your sister’s wedding in style!

By Roscoe | March 12, 2019

CONGRATULATIONS! You just clicked that ad for the most amazing piece of automotive engineering available in any facebook classified posting EVER. I already know you want this car and I have no need to convince you to buy it but ill give you a few reasons to boost your confidence that you are making the…

isuzu box truck with landscaping on the side

Enjoying a career of petty theft but ready to step up your game? BUY MY LAWN CARE TRUCK

By Roscoe | March 12, 2019

Having a hard time stuffing televisions kids bikes or the contents of people unlocked cars into your hatchback? Wish you could get the bigger ticket items too? Well here is your chance! Not only is this truck big enough to haul lots of loot, its a cab over design allowing you to sneak into tighter…

cadillac hearse with wrecker pumper parked at cemetery

EPIC HEARSE! Kill trash cans, haul them in this!

By Roscoe | March 12, 2019

Right about now one of two things has happened, #1 you clicked this by accident maybe just morbid curiosity and that is ok. OR you are FREAKING AWESOME and you know this car would suit your personality better than the boring piece of crap you drive now. Either way, keep reading you won’t be disappointed!…

island of misfit toys dolls singing

Misfit Hoopdies! $500 each.

By uglycars | May 24, 2018

Sing along!   “A Honda for Jimmy A Mercedes for Sue A Truck that will even smell, “just like poo” When Hoopdoe-Sale Day is here The most wonderful day of the year.”   $500 Car sale time! These are great for lawn art, redneck target practice, demo derby etc. The diesel benz runs great but…

ugly black celica with aftermarket wheels

slick celica racecar for parking lot pimps

By Roscoe | May 8, 2018

SOLD! Because Race-car Life, YO $750 Richmond, VA Ever wanted a supra but was unable to justify the expense? I have a reasonable solution for you right here. Sure its not rear wheel drive, or turbo, or a 6 cylinder, or fast, or even nice to look at but its a Toyota just like a…

ugly crv interior with taped up seats

dumpy honda crv

By Roscoe | May 8, 2018

SOLD! (happens every time, still can’t figure out why) CRAPPY HONDA – Yep, check this unicorn out! $850 Richmond, VA Are you one of those people that likes to win arguments and prove the “norm” wrong but need proof to back up your position? I have just the vehicle for you. Challenge everyone that tells…

ford escape suspension rusted apart

escape the rust

By Roscoe | May 8, 2018

SOLD! 2003 Ford “Escape” Hybrid. Avoid the hassles of actually driving by parking this fine example of undrivable automotive art in your driveway. We think the “hybrid” part means it was used as a boat because there is enough RUST under this thing to embarrass the Titanic. Sure it looks good up top, the interior…

ford focus with front bumper missing

Bus drivers should focus on parked cars

By Roscoe | May 8, 2018

Someone actually bought this! SOLD! 2012 Ford Focus. LOOK! A Ford that’s broken at no fault of its own. The back story on this one is that apparently, a bus driver was unable to FOCUS on parked cars leading to this puddle jumper taking a hit and coming out a little worse for wear. One…

ford f350 with service body

Better use of a junk ford truck as a toolbox

By Roscoe | May 8, 2018

Be the Envy of the Shop! Buy this Ford Truck Themed TOOLBOX. Richmond, VA. $1450 Why invest thousands of your hard earned dollars with Snap-On or Matco when you can get so much more storage space for a fraction of the cost! This rolling cabinet has space for every tool you could ever need. Not…